he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
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I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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