im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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