Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
