I swear she didn't look like that last week.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
