He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
