heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
