You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
