so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
