no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
