He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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