just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
