About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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