I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am in a vortex of obligation.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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