Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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