Pants 0. Shit 1.
...so i touched it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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