I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
that is very illegal...i love you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
