if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
