"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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