MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
