The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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