She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
