oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
