You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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