Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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