have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
only you would photoshop your dick
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
