it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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