come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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