Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
