don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
