i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Your cock deserves a montage
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
