At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
