Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
