whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
