she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
