honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
