Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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