I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
