No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
