His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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