I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
