It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
