just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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