there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
