Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
