White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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