Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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