Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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