her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
