AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
