I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
