I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
