Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
