Ambien. No doubt about it.
I've blown a few things in my day
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
