I have demons in me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
