im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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